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STAR WARS: The Dying of the Light


    She was gone.  In that one last quiet moment with Anakin, Ahsoka Tano had walked away from it all.  The Jedi, her Master, all of her hopes and ambitions.  She was free to rewrite her destiny before others could do it for her.

    Ahsoka put her best foot forward and walked away.  Where will she go now?  Her despair was so great she could have fallen to pieces there.  Anakin watched in shock as she left.  One strand of hair would hold a lifetime of memories.  Anakin stood and watched, but he was not the only one to watch.  In the distance, Ventress casually watches the events unfold and conclude.....

    Anakin let her go.  Ahsoka kept on going, further and further from the Temple.  She had no money, no possessions, almost no strength to live.  Though her walking took her far from her troubles, she realized she couldn't leave the planet except as a stowaway, or a brigand.  As her stomach growled, she wondered how long it would take before she would start doing the unthinkable just to survive.

    She had walked for hours, yet the temple was such a large building that it remained a major site in the panoramic view of the city behind her.  She turned down an alley to escape the crowded streets.  To escape the view of that Temple.  Coruscant from the air looked so majestic for first time tourists, it becomes quite a disappointment when one reaches the smelly streets and exhaust filled sky ways of constant traffic.  The beautiful lights of the night blind the unwary to seedy happenings and squalor of those who do not live like the Jedi, the politicians, or the criminal kings.

    Down the alley was a hole in the wall bar, Shadout Mapes' Place.  She walked in, tired and dejected.  There were a few people in there.  Not exactly a hive of scum, they were just more poor dregs of society who came here to either drink to remember or to forget.  Ahsoka wondered which kind of drinker she would be if she could afford it.

    She sat at a bar stool in a dark corner, just trying to be a fly on the wall.  She put her head down and drifted away.  Maybe this was all a dream.  A bad dream.  She would wake up again in the Temple, where everything was back in place.  Anakin would be his old snarky self.  The Council still full of wisdom, her friend Barriss....still a friend.  The attack never happens, the war ends.  The universe would be put back into proper order.

    She knew it was a false dream to hope for.  Hope had finally left.  All she had left was herself.  What has come to pass cannot be undone, unmade, or reversed.  With any luck, she thought in her last waking thoughts, I will just become another cog in the Coruscant machine to be forgotten.

    She awoke after a time, maybe thirty minutes later.  The nap helped her, though her stomach growled mercilessly.  "What now?" she murmured.  She had suddenly noticed a large bowl of hot soup in front of her.  She sat up from the table.  In front of her was Ventress, sipping from her own bowl.

    "Fancy meeting YOU here" Ventress greeted.  Ahsoka hesitated, looked at the pale former apprentice of the nefarious Count Dooku.  She looked down at her bowl.  It was calling to her.

    "Go on, eat.  It's not poison".  She grabbed the spoon and tried not to slobber like a gundark.  Eating it slow took a lot of discipline.

    "Thank you, Assajj"  Ahsoka whispered.  Ventress couldn't reply.  She didn't know how to.  She continued to eat.

    Ventress tried a new approach to greeting her former enemy "I've been getting used to Coruscant, its locations, the eateries.  Places to go, contacts to make.  It helps me to survive.  This place is not exactly a 4 star resturant, but the food is good, the darkness is warmth, and the patrons don't look twice.  In case you ever need a hangout.  You could do worse"

    They continued eating.  It was Ahsoka's turn.  "You have good skills to find me here".

    Ventress simply shrugged "Amazing how we keep running into each other on a huge city planet.  It's like we were destined to always meet"

    "I hate that word" Ahsoka frowned "Destiny".  She spoke it in a hushed tone, as if it were a four letter word not to be heard by children.  "Everyone seems to think it's so important, fulfilling a damn destiny"

    "Well, Isn't it?"  Ventress was curious now "You Jedi all believe in that stuff.  It was your destiny to leave the Jedi, to abandon them as they had abandoned you"  Ventress finished her bowl, shaking her head "A bombing attack on the Temple.....*pfft* Only a Jedi would try a stunt like that....and to put you, of all people, on trial.  I'll bet Obi-wan thought it was such a twist of destiny.  Your own friend, setting you up as a terrorist, and using my blades as weapons against the very people she was supposed to protect..."

    Ahsoka was not ready to face horrible truths "Please don't.  I can't talk about it.  About *her*.  I don't know what happened.  How it came to this...."

    Ventress shrugged again "It just seems more like irony than destiny.  I know what it's like to be betrayed, to be abandoned....."

    Ahsoka took some comfort in Asajj's familiarity.  "How did you deal with it?  When you had no one to turn to?"

    Asajj looked at her, matter of fact "I'm just numb.  I've been numb to everything around me right now.  Not sure how I should feel  I suppose I should be angry and bitter.  Trouble is, I was angry and bitter at the Jedi for so long....that I have nothing left to express after what Dooku did."

    "Nothing at all?"  Ahsoka looked at her "Your anger and passion were driving forces.  Wouldn't you just be angry at Dooku and the Separatists?"

    Ventress turned the tables "Shouldn't YOU be angry at the Jedi?  You walked away from them, why not walk away from their philosophy?"

    Ahsoka looked at her "I can't be mad at them....but I can never trust them again.  They destroyed any sense of order and justice I ever had.  I guess I'm numb too.  It's a horrible feeling."

    "And what about *her*?  Surely you want revenge?"  Ahsoka looked down at the table, more sad than angry.

    Ventress signaled the bartender for drinks "Drinking helps.  Not too much, though.  I didn't survive the war this long without staying alert".  Two glasses were placed before them.

    Ahsoka tried her beverage.  A quick gulped, it burned down her with a warm alcoholic sting.  She coughed like a rookie.  Ventress smiled a little, though it was a warm smile without malice.  "You taken your first step into a bigger world, Ahsoka.  One filled with bitterness, despair and disappointment.  I've been on this road a long time.  The only difference between your betrayal and mine was that I should have expected mine.  First rule of being a Sith....is you never trust a Sith."

    Ahsoka took a bigger gulp, felt warmer.  She stared into space.  "This war....this war has destroyed all we set out to do.  I suppose it truly destroyed the Jedi and their values, just as Barriss said."

    "It seems to have destroyed her as well.  Corruption begets corruption, and the road to Hell is paved with *good* intentions." Ventress took a drink.

    Ahsoka raised an eyebrow "Don't mock me!".

    Ventress replied without too much sympathy "I'm not mocking you.  It is simply the nature of chaos.  Sooner or later, chaos will destroy any orderliness, just as the chaos of war destroyed your order, and corrupted a wise Jedi to commit murder.  It's not the first time wise Jedi have fallen to corruption.  Look at Dooku....."

    Ahsoka thought upon it and became more upset.  "How can we fight against it?  How come I never fell to the corruption?  How did I escape the war's ugliness?"

    Ventress wiped her mouth with a napkin "You were a lucky one.  I suspect Anakin is the answer to that.  I've seen how Jedi are.  So restricted, so uptight.  Anakin gave you room to breath, to live. He treated you like an equal, a person.  Most of them, like Mace Windu....they live like robots.  That's one of the reasons I hated them so much.  Sooner or later, holding back one's passions causes one to snap.  I guess Barriss wasn't as strong as everyone thought.  War takes its toll, and breakdowns happen.  You survived that dest-...sorry, you survived falling into that trap.  The trap of creating Jedi order in a galaxy full of unrepentant chaos."

    "Maybe I'm a fallen Jedi too" She sighed "I'll never be as great as Anakin or Obi-wan.  What's more, I don't want to...."

    Ventress was quick to correct her "If you were a fallen Jedi, you wouldn't be sitting here getting drunk.  You walked away, you didn't fall.  If you did....you'd become like me"  Now Ventress sighed and felt despair  "I have committed atrocities beyond scope and decency.  I have destroyed whole worlds.....Why am I not on trial right now?  Why doesn't Anakin hunt me down like an animal?  Why does Obi-wan continue to think I am so damn redeemable?"

    Ahsoka looked at her.  Ventress finished her drink.  It must have been a stronger drink than what the former Sith could handle.  She was starting to warm up to Ahsoka and spill all her inner feelings through a bit of jolly inebriation "You know, Obi-wan's the only one who ever thought about reaching out to me.....trying to bring me into the light"  Ventress started laughing a hopeless laugh.  Ahsoka listened seriously "Dooku just saw me as a tool for his own glory, Anakin saw me as a trophy.....most Jedi just wanted to have me jailed and hung.  Can't blame 'em.  but Obi-wan....he always had this twinkle in his eye when we fought....like he knew the punchline to the greatest joke in the galaxy.....and he wanted to tell his stupid jokes rather than fight....I suppose if I weren't so angry all the time....I would have....wanted to listen...."

    Ventress got teary eyed.  Ahsoka noticed how weary she was.  Ventress held back, but her eyes watered.  "Look at all of us now....." Ventress started getting belligerent "LOOK AT WHERE DESTINY PUT US TODAY!"  Patrons turned at her outburst, but looked away.  Just another day, another sad sack at Shadout Mapes' place.  Ventress looked at Ahsoka like she was the last good friend who would listen "We all got screwed, Ahsoka.  You, me, Anakin, that idiot joker Kenobi....Bartender, I want a refill!"

    Ahsoka put her hand on Ventress' shoulder, feeling awkward at trying to comfort her.  "Maybe you've had enough."

    "No...no I haven't"  Ventress took the refuill and took another swig.  She was getting schnockered against her own advice "Look at what Destiny did!  I hate that Bitch, Destiny!  You know...."

    Ahsoka leaned in to listen.  Ventress was fully buzzed "Even as you walk away, you will be remembered as one of the greatest Jedi.....Me?  I'm living like a womp rat....next to Dooku, I'll be remembered as one of the war's favorite punching bags.  Anakin will be the poster boy for the Supreme Chancellor's agenda, And the Jedi Council get to look like a bunch of criminals.  The war will break us all sooner or later, just like your friend.  I suppose it doesn't matter.  Destiny has one more page to write for us all, and it doesn't look like a happy ending, Ahsoka.  Destiny has left me with nothing...just as it has left you with nothing.  I just wish.....maybe....maybe Obi-wan could just tell me one of his stupid jokes.....before the knife of Fate turns one final time."

    "No" Ahsoka responded.  She pushed away her drink.  It would solve nothing, and Ahsoka could see the road she might go down if she gave in like Ventress.  "No, you are not controlled by Destiny!  You are NOT a punching bag!"

    Ventress looked at her.  They were both at a crossroads in their hearts, Ahsoka could sense it.  "We make our own destiny, we have a chance to walk our own path before the final page is written in history.  Asajj...." Ahsoka pushed Ventress' drink away and grabbed her hand.  Ventress was startled by the ex-Jedi's aggressive behavior "Maybe it WAS Destiny that brought us here today, not to destroy us, but to open a new door.  The war cannot affect us anymore.  The Jedi, the Sith.  They cannot hurt us anymore!!"

    "I'm starting to either really like you or be scared by you.  What the hell happened to the squeaky clean little 'Snips?"

    Ahsoka stood up, re-energized by their talk "Snips is gone, but what I am now....well, is the right person I need to be.  Now, I'm going to help you be the person YOU need to be!"

    "And just who am I supposed to be?" Ventress started to sober up, started thinking and getting a little scared at Ahsoka's energy.

    Ahsoka leaned in to her "What you were in the past is gone.  The hard, vengeful Sith killer Ventress is gone.  Now....you can be what ever you want.  You're here, alive, and you can either keep drinking and waiting for Destiny to write the story for you, or you can step up and become greater than the sum of your past!  Do you have a ship?"

    "I know where I can get one in an emergency.  It ain't much to look at, but it's got what it takes.  Why?"  Ventress started to feel Ahsoka's excitement rub off, shaking off the drink that would have stopped her in her tracks.

    Ahsoka found a new purpose "We are going to get out of here.  The war is already destroying the hearts and minds of people here.  We can escape."

    Ventress started thinking "And go where?".

    Ahsoka just smiled "Let's go.  Let's go before we drink ourselves into becoming what we hate the most."  They exit the bar.

    In moments, they are on  high landing pad atop one of the ports.  Ventress pulls strings to gain access to a large Bounty Hunter ship.  "I'm still making payments on this bucket, but it's pretty smooth" Ventress smiles proudly.  On the side, in big letters, it was named "Sophonisba".

    "It's a pretty name."  Ahsoka smiled.

    Ventress looked at her with a parental expression "More than just a name.  Sophonisba was a legendary Princess of a more punic age in the Republic.  Princess Sophnisba was on the losing side of a great war, long ago.  Rather than surrender and be paraded as an animal in the capital....she...she took destiny in her own hands.  She controlled her own Fate by drinking poison rather than being a prisoner of someone else's agenda.  Hmm....now THAT'S ironic...."

    Ahsoka grinned "It was a Destiny we are shaping now".

    Ventress became concerned "And how do you know we are still in control of our own destiny?  What makes you think you are not just being steered again?  What makes you think we can win against this?  Who can stop Fate from destroying us like it has destroyed the Sith and the Jedi?"

    "Faith, my young padawan!" She gently patted Asajj's face in reassurance "Have faith!"  Ahsoka gently grabs skeptical Ventress' hands tightly "Do not go gentle into that good night.  Old age should burn and rave at close of day.  Rage, RAGE against the dying of the light!"

    "You're quite the poet" Ventress cocked her head in surprise.

    Ahsoka smiled "It means....we don't take shit from nobody!"

    Ventress felt warm with her touch, and felt renewed strength "Where shall we go....my friend?"

    Ahsoka's eyes looked towards the temple, not in sadness, not burning revenge, but with a new fire.  A decision that would suprise even her.  "We're going back for Barriss!"

    "What?!"  Ventress' jaw dropped "Even after all that's happened!?"

    Ahsoka took a deep breath "She is in a dark place now, almost as dark and oppressive as the Jedi.  If we leave her now....she will become the next Darth Maul, She'll become what you were.  Destiny will destroy what is left.  I can feel her from here and there is good still within her.  But she is teetering on a tightrope between justice and madness.  The Jedi cannot and will not help her.  I have a plan."

    "You'd better!"  They board the ship.  Ventress checks her supplies, weapons, and power.  They sit in the cockpit and plot a breakout.  Their combined knowledge and skills would be enough to make it work.  "She must mean a lot to you, doesn't she?"  Ventress started the lift off.

    Ahsoka looked on as the ship faced the temple.  Wise Ventress' Heart knows dark is right, because her words had forked no lightning.  We will not go gentle into that good night.

    The ship blasted towards the Temple.

    Inside the temple, in a dark prison cell, fallen Jedi Barriss Offee awaited her destiny, to be stripped from the order, expelled or executed.  She had no emotion left, only a numb feeling.  Her meditation was of little comfort.  She was alone, and despised.

     Anakin entered the cell with a tray of food.  He put it before her without saying a word.  Because there were no words left to be said.  She could feel a temper boiling up in him, disgusted to be in the same room.  He snapped a little "Have you no regrets?  No remorse for your actions?!  How could you DO this to us?  To HER?"

    Barriss closed her eyes and looked down.  No explanation would be good enough.  Not for him, not for the news networks that had plastered her face all over the planet, and across the galaxy.  Her destiny as a cold, psychopath in public opinion seemed to be settled.  "What answer can I give, Skywalker?  That I was trying to.....to do the right thing...."

    Anakin just shook his head "You're scheduled for execution, Barriss.  They simply have to go through the formality of passing sentence in court"  He left her with one last dagger of a thought "Your treachery made Ahsoka leave.  At the very least, she does not have to be here to see what a monster you've become!".  The coldness of the temple was all around her as he closed the door.  She closed her eyes and sighed.  She bit her lip for control.  The war had taken its ultimate toll on her, mentally and spiritually.  In the last days, she had become one more casualty


"Soldier" by Gavin DeGraw: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DLo__…


    A ship passed by, she could hear the engines roar.  They were very close.  The door opened again.  Another robed figure stepped through.  Barriss waited for another barrage of threats and taunts.  The figure lifted her hood up.  It was Ahsoka Tano.

     Barriss' eyes went wide.  She was frozen in apprehension, failing to hear a noise rev up outside the temple wall.  She waited to hear Ahsoka's rant, but Ahsoka went into a dive at her "GET DOWN!!"  They both hit the floor.  An explosion rocked the cell as a hole was blown open.  An alarm sounded.

    Ahsoka pulled a shocked Barriss up.  "You've come for revenge.....I am ready."  Barriss seemed to accept her fate all too quickly.

    Ahsoka didn't have time for dramatics "Would you shut up and get going?  We're on a rescue mission!"

    Ahsoka pulled her to the hole.  Ventress ship hovered nearby, a hatch open and ready.  Ventress grinned "You make it look so easy, Ahsoka!"  Ahsoka helped the confused Barriss into the hatch.

    Anakin and Obi-wan reached the cell door and watched her in shock.  She looked back at them for a moment, thinking about them both.  Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay.

    "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, AHSOKA!??"  Anakin's surprise and anger startles even Kenobi.  His old Snips was now an even bolder figure than before.  She looked at him, without judgement or remorse, but with resolve "I am rage.  A rage against the dying of the light!"

    Ahsoka hopped on board and Ventress pulled the ship away.  Obi-wan reached the hole and almost smiled in pleasant surprise when he saw Asajj at the helm.  Obi-wan suddenly realized why.

    Ventress and Obi-wan locked eyes for long seconds as Anakin ran like a maniac to the fighter bays to pursue, staring at each other as Ahsoka and Barriss settled in and closed the hatch.  Asajj could sense his elation, He sensed a renewed spirit in her, a positive one, and both suddenly knew why.

    Brave Asajj and Obi-wan, near death, who see with blinding sight.  Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Both would Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    "You have brightened my day, Ventress, but taking a prisoner away will put a damper on our usual good cheer, if you have any good cheer to spare.  If you don't surrender, I'll have to give chase to bring you back" He smirked, with that twinkle in his eye "Though, I'd rather enjoy the chase!"

    Ventress smiled with a hint of mirth.  "We're game for a rematch, Kenobi!  I'll show you good cheer if you can catch me.  Loser buys the winner lunch at Dex's diner!"  She blasts away and kicks the Sophonisba into the high atmosphere.

    Obi-wan watches.  He is interrupted by a frantic Anakin "Master, what's happening!?  Why aren't you going after her?"

    Obi-wan casually holds up his communicator "It's only good sportsmanship to give them a head start.  I'll be up in a moment."  He started humming.  The gloom of the Temple and its oppressive spiritual weight melted away.  He felt his young adventurous self return as he made his way to his ship.  One more good chase through the galaxy was in his heart.

    Ventress' ship blasted through the last of the planet's layers, and prepped past fleets of ships to make one more sail into history.

    Ahsoka and Ventress coordinated an escape route "What's next in this plan of yours?"

    Ahsoka drew up a mapped path "We can start hear"  Ventress looked at her in suprise.  They are interrupted by gunfire as Republic gunships pursue them up into the reaches of the atmosphere.

    Ventress smiles "Your clone troopers are getting sloppy.  Took 'em almost ten minutes to get here!"

    Ahsoka felt the ship rattling with blasts in the hull "Can we make it to our destination, Asajj?"  Ventress punched in the coordinates "Almost theeeere".

    Ahsoka opened a hailing frequency ahead.  On the other end, Lux appeared in a nice shade of blue

    "Ahsoka!!  It's good to see you!!"  Ahsoka smiled as he smiled at her.  She could sense his warmth from even such a distance.

    "I'd like to book a table for 4 at your best resturant!  You got room for some vagabonds, Lux?"  Another blast rocked the ship, and Lux knew that her situation was serious.

    "We'll be waiting, Ahsoka!  Be safe.  I miss you...."  She reaches out to touch screen, to touch Lux's image

    "I can't wait to be there.  There's so much to do and say before...."

    "Before what?"  He asked curiously.

    "Strap your olive green and orange butts in!  We're gonna have a bumpy ride in 25 seconds!"  Ventress shouted

    The ship rocked again.

    "Lux....I will see you soon."  He blushed and reached out to her.  Wild Lux who caught and sang Ahsoka's heart in flight, And learned too late, he grieved with his eyes to say 'Do not go gentle into that good night.'  His blue image felt real for a moment before he switched off.

    Ahsoka turned to Barriss.  She sat and kept her eyes closed, unsure of her Destiny now.  "Hey" she called out gently.  Seconds were counting down to hyperspace, but she didn't care.  There was one more Heart to bring to the light.

    Barriss looked up up at her "Don't die for me.  I left you to be destroyed.  I have failed you.  There's nothing left of what I once was." she whispered.

    Ahsoka took her hands next "I sensed the good that was still in you.  Letting you fall into darkness would be a greater crime.  You are worth saving before Destiny writes the final note on your life."

    Barriss looked at her confused "You can't fight Destiny, the Living will of the Force.  It has led us all to-"

    "-It has led us to here and now, and the future is still far off.  I said it, and I still mean it.  We can find our way to the light, and I'll take your pain when we do.  And you, my Barriss, there on that sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.  Do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light!"

    Ventress laughed excitedly at Ahsoka's poetic comments "RAGE against the dying of the light, Barriss!!  That means....we don't take shit from NOBODY!"

    Ahsoka drew her close and held her tight.  Barriss saw the light in Ahsoka's face for her, a bright joy hinted across the horizons of her eyes.  She could almost feel the corruption leave her heart.  Her face started to scrunch up, eyes drew up a little more wet and a little smile in her as Ahsoka leaned their heads together in the most magical Jedi power that could be shared: Forgiveness.

    Just past them,  Ventress gave out a "Yeehaw!" cheer as the hyperspace kicked in and the stars surrounded them.  Ahsoka and Barriss' silhouettes got even closer as the ship blasted off to new adventure, defying the very galaxy that would condemn them.

   What would become of them?  Fate knew in the future, but for now.....They would open their own path.  Wild and free.
This story picks up at the end of TCW episode "The Wrong Jedi. It has a paraphrased Dylan Thomas poem mixed within (Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night). Read and enjoy. It is a story that will lead to a newe series of adventures titled "Star Wars: On The Run" :)

Part 1 of "On The Run" can be read here: lordhadrian.deviantart.com/art…
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:iconwrite4aliving:
Write4ALiving Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. Real world swearing in a Star Wars story. That's got to be a first.

Really good story.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015
I was pretty emotional when I wrote  it, so I kind of let the language become part of the story :)
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015
Thank you, I am very glad you enjoyed it :):)
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:icondragoroku:
DragoRoku Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
I hope you don't plan on Ahsoka and Barris Kiss at the end. I don't we should encourage a bi-sexual relationship like so many others do. Because it really might be an insult to Mis Ecstien herself.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
This story is one of friendship.  I have written "Barrissoka" stories before, but this one follows the TV show and its rules.  I wrote it to connect to TCW, so even though it's a spoiler alert, this story does not go into the romance.  But I do not mind same sex relations with characters  :)
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:icondragoroku:
DragoRoku Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015
Well, I don't personally believe in it. But I do respect the people who do choose it. After all! It is not my place to judge someone on the relationships. For me, that authority belongs strictly to God.
Also I think it would be a good idea give these completed stories to Miss Ecstien at some point and see what she thinks. If were lucky, she may be able to convince LucasArts and Disney to turn them into a Mini Series. And like you said, our stories should follow the TV show and its rules so that we do not unintentionally offend the shows creators. Also, how many pages are needed to complete "Dying of The Light" and "On the Run" before they are finished?
Good talking with you.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015
Good talking to you as well :)

I would be very happy if Ashley E. were to enjoy reading this, though I imagine she is busy and does not get time to enjoy all the art/fiction around Ahsoka.  While writing "Dying of the Light", I was contemplating wether or not Barriss and Ahsoka should be romantically linked, but I felt that, in the spirit of the show, it should be a friendship, so I brought in Lux and Conrad.

Bobann will probably be doing another 40 or so pages to finish the essential story, but we shall see how that progresses.
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:icondragoroku:
DragoRoku Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015
If we finish both by the time just before C2E2 here in Chicago occurs. I can personally hand her a completed and printed copy of both of them and get her personal response to it. And if she really likes it, who knows. Do you think its worth a try? Keep in mind that here in Chicago C2E2 is near the end of march.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015
Well, the artists Boban and Liunors work at their own pace, and I don't interfere much with that.  I imagine it's possible for Liunors to complete "The Dying of the Light" story by March, but again you might want to discuss that with him.  I can mention it also, but I can let you lead on the details because you know more about it and you have a great idea in this.

It's exciting to think that Ashley Eckstein might have a chance to read this story, and if you were to do that, I would be excited to either hear about it or maybe meet you there since I'm only 5 hours from Chicago.  It is certainly worth trying for :)

What date is C2E2?  is there a link you could give that details the event?
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:icondragoroku:
DragoRoku Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015
I'm afraid she will not be appearing at C2E2 this Year. But if it's possible maybe we can send it directly to her home address in a completed printed version and see what she thinks. Make sure to provide your e-mails and hope she really likes it.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015
That just means we have time to finish the story.  I don't know what her address is, but when the time comes we can send it....
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:icongeneralpotiti:
GeneralPotiti Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014
HO. LY. SHIT. This is one of the best fanfics I've ever read :D Epicness level OVER 9000!!!! :iconvegetaplz:
I love this, amazing work :D
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014
Thank you very much.  This fan fiction and the continuing chapters were written when I was trying to figure out what kind of adventures Ahsoka and Barriss might have.  You will enjoy the chapters that come after it :)
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:icongeneralpotiti:
GeneralPotiti Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014
Yeah, I really love On The Run, it's an amazing comic :D
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014
Thank you.  The fan fiction has some interesting adventures....
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:icongeneralpotiti:
GeneralPotiti Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014
Indeed :D I agree with that XD
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:iconwisky-08:
Wisky-08 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014
Nice!!!
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014
:) I am very happy you are enjoying this :)
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:iconwisky-08:
Wisky-08 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014
Anytime
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:iconfurgy12:
furgy12 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wow! just wonderful!! i have to see the comic !!!!!
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014
Thank you.  I am so very glad you are enjoying the story.  The comics by :iconliunors: and :iconbobann: connect a series of adventures based on the fan fiction.  They are still a work in progress, but they are moving along :)
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:iconthebingbang:
thebingbang Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This was a cool idea...It would take too long to go through all the notes I took and post them in this comment. I'll hit you up with a note probably tomorrow. Late tonight! But enjoyed it! :D
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner May 10, 2014
I look forward to reading your notes!!  Very glad you liked it!!
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:iconthebingbang:
thebingbang Featured By Owner May 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Youre Welcome Llama Signs 
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:iconsleeper77:
Sleeper77 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014
Nicely done!  I look forward to finding some time to read your entire story arc.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014
Thank you very much :):)  Take your time, no hurry :)
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:iconsleeper77:
Sleeper77 Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
You're welcome.  I kinda lost interest in Star Wars after Episode 1 although I did watch (and enjoy) most of the Clone Wars. Naturally I am liking your writing.  I am also looking forward to getting my Doctor Who fix with your On the Run series, especially since the new season is still (too many) months away.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
Awesome.  The Doctor is more of a side character in the series, but he has his moments.  I think you will really like "On The Run" parts 1 and 2 :):):)
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:iconmudslinger077:
MudSlinger077 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Neat story! :D
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Thank you very much!!!  I am so happy that you have enjoyed it.
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:iconmudslinger077:
MudSlinger077 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Np :)
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:iconloveanisoka:
LoveAnisoka Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This will be a Barrisoka story? 
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
For now, it is Barrisoka friendship story, Since I am keeping it in the spirit of TCW canon.  There are links at the bottom of each page, but things could change over a long arc :):)  Hope you are enjoying it....
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:iconloveanisoka:
LoveAnisoka Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah! I've seen the comic and it is really good!

I'm looking forward some Barrisoka stuff since I've been loving it for a while but it is still pretty good! 
Keep it up :3 :#1:
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
Thank you :D  I love the Barrissoka and I have some more great ideas coming soon :)
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:iconloveanisoka:
LoveAnisoka Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I would love to see that ideas! :squee:
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
Weeeee!!
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:iconcrimsonight:
Crimsonight Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Your story takes place immediately after “The Wrong Jedi.” So, I wouldn’t call it an alternate ending. That gives people the impression that this story picks up at some point during the episode and ends differently. This is technically an epilogue. Also, you do use some curse words in dialog and consumption of alcohol. For the sake of parental monitoring, it might be best to post some sort of PG-13 rating in the description.

Asajj Ventress was captured perfectly. You grasped her ‘on the verge of being good’ position as we last saw in “The Wrong Jedi” perfectly. Your scripting of the characters flows seamlessly from “The Wrong Jedi” onto your writing which makes it very easy to visualize the scenes. There were some beautiful metaphors that you put in place that are easily the same style as the creators of the Clone Wars. This feels like the next episode more than a fan fiction. For example, you mentioned how Ahsoka walked for a long time and could still see the Jedi Temple in the distance very clearly. It remarks the size of the Temple, but also the size of the life that she is trying to leave behind her.

I feel when I read as though the poetic bits are a little out of place. While beautiful, Ahsoka was being a little too poetic in dialog that should have been short and to the point. That sort of made it feel like a Shakespearian narrative which throws off the reader. The “Destiny writing the last page/note” theme is too repetitive. They are taking control of their lives. They get it. The reader gets it. Yet, it is still being said over and over throughout. A good theme doesn’t need to be inserted, only said once or twice. The rest is left to the reader to pick up the subtle hints and implications of the theme. Also, there are several grammar and spelling errors. I must mention that. After all, the best critique is an honest one.

Overall, I would give this a 4 out of 5 stars.

Personal opinion putting critique aside: This is awesome and I love it! Thanks for writing it!
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Thank you again for all your thoughts. I must confess, I've been meaning to re-edit these stories to cut out the extra stuff (Alternate ending title, etc) and fix spelling errors. I'm embarrassed to say I just figured out how to edit stories two days ago after being on DA since March. I'm still learning the mechanics of this site, lol.

The poetry and the repetative talk of destiny...well, it wasn't necessary, you are right. I think it was more of my anxiety. I've been a Barriss offee fan for a long time, and my anxiety is that when they marched her away in the last episode, I'd have to wait to see what the creators of TCW would do to the characters. cancelling the show just increased my anxiety, and I keep expressing it with talk of destiny. It was a nervous metaphor concerning what the creators intend to do with Ahsoka, Barriss, Ventress, etc. I'm convinced Lucas is going to kill off Barriss in the worst way possible, and I've come to accept it. I just wish I didn't have to wait. The anxiety just keeps popping up in the story, but I think you are right. It's time to put it to rest in the re-edit.

I wrote this story at a time of grief and the Dylan Thomas poem was simply my catharsis, and I had wanted to capture a certain thought with it. But it is perhaps a little too flowery for the characters. I used a similar poem by Emily Dickenson in another chapter of "On The Run" which is probably also a bit maudlin.

I tend to be way too romantic with a lot of notions. I come from an intensely romantic family, lol. My dad once almost got up and walked out on "Spiderman 2" just because he thought Peter Parker and MJ were not going to be together at the end of the film. I had to make him sit for another 30 seconds so he could see that "The guy gets the girl" at the end of the film, so I'm afraid that kind of maudlin tends to creep into my writing, and it becomes difficult to write dark, hopeless characters and situations because the glass is always half full in some way or form. I gotta learn not to do it so much, lol.

Some of my later saga stories get a little too mushy, but I hope to fix that as well.

thank you again for this critique!! I needed it. It's the only way I'm gonna grow. I am so very happy you enjoyed this. A part of my soul kind of went into it, and I am so glad it made an impact on you, and I am humbled again by your rating :):):)

I intend to re-edit this story and the others this week now that I know what I'm doing.
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:iconcrimsonight:
Crimsonight Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hopeless romantic writing is something that the world needs more of in my opinion. Especially now. Hollywood is doing away with the immortal heroes and instead is kicking the crap out of them. Spiderman is a great example of this. He finally get the girl after 2 movies and he loses her at the beginning of the third! While cinema is going after more 'practical' storytelling, they lose sight of the fact that people need their heroes to have a happy ending. If the hero fails their goals, what does that say for the rest of us?

-- stepping down off of my soapbox --

Your unconditional hope in the darkest characters is refreshing and I strongly encourage you to continue writing in the 'mushy stuff.' What I meant to critique was your writing style more than your context.

How you edit is up to you. It is my opinion that their is still a time and place for your paraphrased poetry. Perhaps you could group it together, clean it up a little, and post it as a Star Wars inspired poem. The poetic bits, put together, could make a great poem or even lyrics to a song.

--

I understand your grief. I share it. I am also hopeful though. Clone Wars wasn't really cancelled contrary to popular belief. It has been refocused. They have gone up to Episode III. Now, the same exact creative team is making Rebels which takes place after Episode III. I am very hopeful that we will see more Ahsoka if anything else. B-)
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Thank you again for wise words :)

I will try to refocus the poem, because it is still such a part of the story :)

I hadn't thought of Clone Wars and Rebels in that context, and that's a good way to see it. I've never doubted that we'd see more of Ahsoka, and there is still a part of me that sees them doing a redemption story for Barriss Offee (that idealist in me) They wanted to resolve a lot of loose ends so I'm sure we will see some answers for a lot of characters from TCW.


By the way, I should probably ask about some elements of my storytelling:

I tend to add other movie quotes into my stories, under the right context. I think of the as Easter Eggs to be enjoyed if the reader gets the reference, but I did get one complaint about it.

I also like to add a music link, just an option if people like to read with some dramatic music in there

I've always like adding crossover characters. Just for fun, and to see how they would do in a Star Wars setting. Some crossover characters are more obscure, like Colonel Hendrikkson is a Peter Weller Character from the 1995 movie "Screamers" Bt not a lot of people would known that.

These are perhaps my oldest habits. I do them for fun and to jazz things up for the reader, but I don't want them to be a distraction from the excitement of the story. So far the only complaint was about the quotes, and one curious person wondered why I had crossovers, but people seem to react well to these elements.

I do not usually think about posting the "I don't own Star wars, etc" stuff because I never think to claim anything, but should I clarify that? Others do it, but I just have common sense for people to know I'm not claiming any TM/copyright stuff.

Thanks again for your insight and your advice. Your in depth critiques are the first I have received in almost 5-6 years :)
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:iconcrimsonight:
Crimsonight Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There is a time and place for crossover characters. For the most part, you include them in ways that people will either recognize and be ok with it or will simply miss it. A few stand out in my mind: In "On The Run" you have mashed together a lot of different crossover characters. One or two is fine, but as I read, it feels less and less like a Star Wars story and more like an excuse to get these characters together. Adding subtle elements from something like Firefly with everyone saying "Shiny" is ok. Readers will either get it and like it or simply not notice. But have a Doctor with a magic screwdriver to save the day at the 11th hour in a way that no Star Wars fan would understand... well... people are reading Star Wars and you just used technology that doesn't exist in that universe. There are certain parameters that you must stay inside of even when writing fiction in order not to lose your readers. Also, you involved Katniss Everdeen from Hunger Games. You didn't make a character heavily based on her. It was Katniss thrown into Star Wars. You even gave her the same weapon, last name, and physical descriptors. Let me try and boil this down: If you want Riddick or Doctor Who or Malcolm Reynolds in your story, that is perfectly acceptable, but you can't throw the carbon-copies in. You need to make a character based on them. Let's take Katniss for example:

1. Changer her Weapon of Choice: She can still use a bow, just make it an energy bow like the Nightsisters utilize.
2. Change her body: She can still be a girl, just change her hair color or age or even species.
3. Most importantly, change her name: It can still be similar. Katya Featherdream is close enough and far enough.

This way, people might put 2 and 2 together, or will be totally oblivious and content. You have to think: What would this character be like in the Star Wars Universe? Don't just throw them in. Riddick would still have tricked-out eyes, but they might be cybornetic eyes or he may wear an electronic visor instead of goggles. Doctor Who would still have a universal tool, but it would probably be a fusion cutter which can both damage and repair Star Wars Tech. This is a Star Wars story. So make it Star Wars. Ok, I didn't really boil it down as much as I wanted. I am going to stop myself from rambling about crossover characters with the hopes that I got my point across lol.

Adding YouTube links to songs is perfectly fine. Some people really like it. If the reader doesn't care, it is only a quick line to look over before continuing to read. It, on occasion, even serves as a good 'bookmark' for people to reference if they need to leave and come back to the story later.

Adding quotes from movies, shows and books into your story is fine. Just don't overdo it. So long as your story isn't filled with iconic quotes is will be fine. Make it an Easter Egg hunt and not an obstacle course. Also, make sure that the quote is relevant and fits into conversation very well. You should never have to change the story to make an external quote feel relevant.

Saying that you don't own Star Wars is a courtesy, but it is also a no-brainer. People know it and therefore don't require you to say so. Copyright only becomes an issue once you make money off of your work. If you are making money off of something like a commission Star Wars story that you are making for someone, you'd best say that you own the rights to the story, but not to Star Wars or any affiliated content. This is just like my art. I own my render and I can sell prints of it. I do not own any of the concepts such as lightsabers or togrutas etc.
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:iconlordgravon:
LordGravon Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013
Speaking of Doctor Who, I actually have a Star Wars character, based on the 10th incarnation of Doctor. I created him back in 2009 when I saw an animated Doctor Who serial called "Dreamland" and thought that this is how an animated Doctor would look like in a Doctor Who/Clone Wars crossover because I planned to write a fanfic about it. Once I drawned a Doctor in Jedi robe with a lightsaber out of boredom. That's when the idea came in. I decided not to bring the Doctor into the Star Wars universe, I will rather make a character based on him. The problem was that the Doctor is a really powerful character so I stripped him from all his powers and made him to be a human. So he is more emotional, capable of falling in love ect. He's more like in the "Human Nature/The Family of Blood" Doctor Who episodes. But he still needed to have some special abilities so I made him to be a Jedi. The Jedi Order is full of wise and powerful people, living in bit temples and all that, they're like the counterparts of the Time Lords in the Star Wars universe and the Doctor likes to use swords anyway. ;) Since this Jedi was not really going to be the Doctor I needed to give him a name. I wanted it to begin with the letter D so I named him Darius. Now if the Doctor were a Jedi many of his actions would lure him to the dark side considering how emotional and angry he can be sometimes. So that is a key element of Darius' character. He's falling to the dark side but there's always something that holds him back. I made him younger, the same age as Ahsoka was in the latest seasons of the Clone Wars and he's the apprentice of Kit Fisto. I think he's really fitting for him as a Master.

I have some pictures about Darius at my gallery and I will write holodiary entries as him. Hope you guys will check it out. Good fanfic by the way. The sequel is more of a crossover but nicely written.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Excellent thoughts! Thank you again for your input. One of my habits for the last 10-15 years of writing was "throw in everything and the kitchen sink" I grew up on a steady diet of epic films and that has, in good and bad ways, crept into my writings with a cast of hundreds and more subplots than can be kept track of.

Thank you again for you analysis. It has helped me put this in perspective :):)

The one rule I have tried to stick to, especially with "On The Run", was to remember that it is a Star wars story and that the main action will always be around Assajj, Ahsoka, and Barriss. :):)
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:iconcrimsonight:
Crimsonight Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Your one rule for "On the Run" has been kept very well. Please do not take my postings as me ripping "On The Run" to pieces. I am really enjoying it. I just used it as an example to elaborate on my thoughts and answers.

I too was raised on a steady diet of epic films both classic and modern. My wife calls me a "walking library of movie trivia and fun facts." lol I hope you take my thoughts as advice from one artist to another and not as rules from 'someone who knows better.' Art is defined not in one way but uniquely by everyone who practices it in any form and therefore has no right or wrong.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Oh yes, definitely! I very much appreciate your advice. I am so very glad you are enjoying the stories :):)

I am currently writing the conclusion to the chapter and will PM it to you asap. Take your time, read and enjoy.
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:icontsuki222:
Tsuki222 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
A great fic and oppening to your work. But I think that Barris would become more like Darth Traya, with the simmilar betrayal and grief that motivated the KOTOR era sith lord, rather than Like Maul(who also is, in the end a very tragic figure, he's very much like a beaten dog, trained to be vicious, but loyal killer, not without his master...) Than again, Traya probaly is a secret known among higest sith and Jedi, so Ahsoka probably has no way of knowing about her.
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
A fascinating comparison. It will be interesting to see if and how they conclude the tale of Bariss Offee. I mostly did this story out of grief and just needing to write after "The Wrong Jedi" Episode (Barriss has been a favorite character since I started reading the novels almost ten years ago). I just had so much sadness. I have a gut feeling they will make her a Sith, probably like Traya. And they will probably have Ahsoka kill her (though a redemption story would be cool)

I'm very glad you enjoyed it, and I hope the poetry of the story was nice as well. the other episodes where Barriss, Ahsoka and Ventress are "On The Run" are just some fun to have. I am not filled with as much grief now, though the waiting to find out what happens is a long road. I can enjoy writing without being as depressed. :)

Thanks again. :)
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:iconlordhadrian:
lordhadrian Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
If you get to read my "On The Run" series, I hope you enjoy them just as much :)
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:iconsvalaw:
SvalaW Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love that you mixed parts of 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night' into this story, it gives it this magical fantasy feel that I love so much.
You described Ahsoka's feelings, thoughts and doubts very realistic. Your way of describing makes it easier to understand her decisions.
And I'm really, really curious about what's to become of Barriss.^^
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